Anyone else notice how December has sneaked up on us this year? Normally it just stands there, proud, forbidding and distant, waiting for us to come to it. This time though, December has thrown off its gaudy robes, donned a black ski mask and starting running silently through bushes and backflipping over rooftops  in order to trap us in a stealth ninja attack.

I have a theory.  I don't actually think December is some kind of rogue assassin months with training in the mystical arts – that would be silly.  I think that the G8 has been secretly selling off bits of October to the Chinese government.

Think about it. Everyone knows that October has thirty-one days, because otherwise there wouldn't be a Halloween, but it always feels like it should be a thirty day month.  Winter came early this year. Why? Because there were actually fewer days in October to separate it from Summer.  A day here, a day there, sliced off, packaged and sent to China where they use it to dissipate some of the excess energy from their over-heated economy.

All I'm saying is, don't be surprised when next year you are sitting back, feeling all smug and self-congratulatory in your August armchair and then BAM! it's mid-November and you are wondering what just happened to the year and trying to figure out when you'll find time to do your Christmas shopping.

Don't ask me how it works, I'm not a Communist.